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Blues of Wanted To

from Drunk On What I Am by Kyle Numann

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lyrics

Pluck out my eyes, that spin in my skull. Pull my teeth from this rotten hole. Rip off my arms, sick from the grip of my hands. Don't even leave me with one leg to stand. It's not mine, as far as I know... My body goes as far as I know.

I'll pay for the right to swallow my air. I'll pay for my teeth, how they want only to tear. I'll pay I swear. But if I can't, if I fall through, I'll pay with my blood, my guts and my bones down to my last cracked tooth. I'll pay for “the one I wanted to be” & then I'll go home. I'll pay for a stone, and the church, then be on my knees with a shovel and a bucket when I feel it coming, digging up a body's worth of dirt so there's a hole for me to collapse in. When I'm past-tense. When I've cashed in on my last breath and I'm gone.

Pray for my god, that he may prevail. Praised be my house, and objection to the world. Praised be my hands and the chance that I'll someday clean up the blood (what a long shot that I ever thought I could [ you would never know, I was not awake])

I won't fold just because I was told a lie made of gold. I don't know nothing anymore.

I was told, by the sound of my voice, that I was not in my right mind. I was told by my eyes that I was not in a lie I was told.

credits

from Drunk On What I Am, released April 15, 2014

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Kyle Numann Nashville, Tennessee

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